A Shame That Great
by lauraayates
Summary: Canon divergence during And Then I Fell in Love Part 2. The scene in which Nikki sits on the end of Harry's bed and asks him about shame and disgust and how someone could leave their child in a suitcase to die. Inspired by a tweet (written inside) from the time the episode aired. Warning! Cringeworthy first smut.


**Inspired by a tweet from Porphyrias_Love during the airing of the episode:** _What sort of person would let Emilia Fox sit on the end of their bed and NOT pounce on her though? Really? #SilentWitness_

 **DISCLAIMER: None of what you recognise belongs to me - I wish it did but sadly it doesn't. Silent Witness, and all characters and storylines that you recognise from the show, all belong to the BBC. I can only take credit for story lines and characters which you do not recognise from the show.**

* * *

 **Harry**

You sit side by side with her, nursing the cup of tea she had made you both ten minutes previously. You can tell she is upset, but because of what exactly you're not quite sure. You know how deep she has dug herself into this case - especially after you'd connected Shannon Kelly to it - you know how vulnerable she can get when she does that. You also know that it is to be your last night here, after getting a call earlier in the day saying that you can move back into your flat tomorrow. Is she upset over Shannon? Or is she upset over you? Leaving her alone here, like every other man that has passed over the threshold has?

Knowing her like you do, you know that what she needs right now is one of your 'Harry Hugs' as she has become accustomed to calling them. So that is exactly what you give her. You prise the mug from between her fingers and place it beside what has become your mug on the coffee table in front of you. You take her hand and pull her fragile body into your own and as soon as she feels the heat radiating from you, that's when she lets her walls down. That's when she lets the tears flow free, with the knowledge that nothing can get to her while she is here in your arms. You won't let anyone or anything hurt her in any way, shape or form and she knows that.

You feel her tears, soaking through your thin cotton t-shirt. You feel them seeping into your skin, becoming a part of you. You feel her sobs. You feel her body shake as you hold it tightly in your arms, pulling it against your own. You feel her pain. You feel how this latest case has emotionally drained her. You feel her lips. You feel them pressing a brief, passionate kiss to the skin at the bottom of your throat. You feel the cold air rush against your skin as she tears her body away from yours. She all but runs out of the living room, and up the stairs into her bedroom and mumbling a quiet 'goodnight' as she goes.

You know she doesn't regret that kiss.

You follow her lead, and after turning off all the lights and making sure the doors and windows are locked, you follow her path to the bedrooms, going one door further to your own.

It's 4am when she wakes you tonight. You hear her footsteps as she travels the route from her bed to yours. She settles herself at the end of your bed by your feet. She asks you: "Is there is a shame that great… a disgust so great that you could do that to your own child? A suitcase and pretend it didn't happen?" You tell her that people are weak, although you're not really sure what she wants to hear from you. You tell her to forget about it for tonight. You tell her to clear her head and go back in the morning with an open mind.

You're about to tell her to go back to bed and get some sleep before work, when she crawls up the bed and slips under the sheets beside you. You're about to ask her what she is doing - that she should go and get in her own bed - when she wraps her arms around your waist and cuddles you close, falling into a deep sleep within a matter of seconds. Once again you follow her example and wrap your arms around her shoulders before closing your eyes and joining her in sleep.

* * *

 **Nikki**

It's 8am when you wake next. Not from the thoughts whizzing around in your head, but from the light streaming through the curtain. From the birds chirping in the branches of the tree that stands outside the window. From the loud buzzing emitting from the alarm clock on your phone that lays on the bedside table. You know that with all the noise, it won't be long before he is awake - if she isn't already. It won't be long before you have to get up for work and leave the comfort of having his arms around you all night.

You gasp slightly as you feel a certain part of his anatomy pressed against your thigh. You try to ignore it as his eyes flicker open and come to rest on yours, with his signature smile plastered across his face. You soon come to realise that your efforts are futile as his erection grows and presses more firmly against you.

A smirk replaces his smile as he feels your hand run down his chest - down his outer thigh - before retracing its steps back up towards his cock. He grabs your hands in his and flips you both so that he hovers over you, taking control. Despite being fearful of handing control over to him, you let him. You know you can trust him, unlike every other man you have been with in this way.

You find the hem of his shirt and run your hands once more up his chest, pulling the shirt up and over his head with your movements. You raise your body off the bed slightly as you allow him to do the same to you, taking pleasure in the look on his face as he realises that you sleep without a bra on.

You see his eyes flick briefly to your lips and instantly know his intentions. You shake your head slightly to let him know that it isn't the time for that. You let him know that right now, all you need is to undress him, for him to undress you. You let him know that right now, all you need is to touch his body, to remember every inch of it. For him to do the same to your body.

You know he has understood you when his hands run up your sides and gently cup your breasts. He starts to knead them, you arch into his touch when he begins to rub and pinch your nipples. You feel the need to moan loudly at his actions, so you do just that. You're sure that your neighbours can hear you, but right now - with Harry massaging your breasts - you don't care who hears you.

With his attention still firmly attached to your breasts, you run your hands down his chest once more towards his trousers, you try to tug them down over his hips and down his legs, only getting so far before him pinning you to the bed prevents you from pulling them down even further. He gets the message and stands up to pull them and his boxers off, drawing a moan of frustration from you as all contact between you is broken. Taking the opportunity, you shuffle around slightly and pull off your own trousers and underwear in time for him to climb back on top of you.

Not taking no for an answer this time, he dips his head and finally connects his lips to yours. It is nothing like you expected your first proper kiss with him to be like. You expected it to be sweet, gentle, and full of love. You don't expect it to be heated, fired, and full of passion.

Ripping your lips apart, he rests his forehead on yours as you both catch your breath.

"Are you sure about this?" He whispers, your lips just inches from his, ready to be kissed again "Because once its happened, there is no going back. Once we've done it, you're mine and I'm never letting you go."

"Im sure." you reply breathlessly before reconnecting your lips and snaking your hand down his body again, this time, fully intent on reaching your target.

You grab the base and slowly rub your hand up towards the head, squeezing gently as you use your other hand to massage his balls. Returning the favour, he finds your clit and starts to rub at it before plunging two fingers deep inside you, before bringing them back out again. He gives you that grin again as he continues to pump his fingers in and out of your body, adding a third finger at a point you can't decipher.

At this point, neither of you are sure which moans and grunts belong to who. You feel yourself about to let go and you can tell from the way his fingers plunge deeper than they had before - the way he increases his speed and uses his thumb to rub at your clit once more - that he wants you to get there first, but you match him thrust for thrust, which after one last pump from both of you, sends you both over the edge simultaneously.

You see his arms shaking as his weight becomes too much for him to hold while he catches his breath. Before he can collapse on top of you, trapping you to the bed, you grip his shoulders and with one leg flung over his hip, flip him over so you now straddle his thighs.

His hands snake up your body and you expect him to repeat his actions on your breasts but they continue higher before pulling you down so he can connect your lips to his once more. Fire and passion once again course through your bodies, but this time you can feel the love. You can feel just how much he loves you and you're surprised to realise that it's just as much as you love him.

With your lips still connected and showing no signs of breaking apart any time soon, he brings one hand down to grip his cock and align it with your centre. He enters you in one quick movement, causing you to gasp and allow his tongue to enter your mouth and fight your own for dominance - something which you soon win.

The increasing urge to moan gets the better of you once again as you tear your lips from his and fling your head back as his cock hits just the right spot every time, causing an almost unbearable amount of pleasure to run through your body.

The moans and whimpers increase in both volume and frequency as you feel yourself coming to the edge once more and this time you let him play the role of gentleman that you know he loves so much. You let him send you over the edge first before you feel him let go two thrusts later.

With the last of your energy you pull yourself off him and flop down on the bed beside him. You feel his arms encircle your waist and pull you close as his lips once more find yours. "Wow!" you mutter against his lips "that was..."

You can't quite find the words to describe the moment. To describe how special he made you feel. So he finds them for you "amazing!" With your forehead now pressed against his, you nod, still slightly breathless.

"I love you." You don't care if this isn't the right moment to tell him. You don't care about all the sordid little details that come with loving someone. All you care about his him knowing just how much you love him.

"Ditto." He gets a slap on his shoulder for that.

* * *

 **Cringeworthy first smut - it was then and even with major editing and the thousands of other smut I've read, it remains so. Thankyou to Lizziginne for all the help you gave me when I first wrote this all those years ago.**


End file.
